Start the money talk and break the taboo.

Money matters
10 March 2020 |  6 min read 

 

Shivani Gopal is determined to shake off taboos around money conversations.

The Remarkable Woman founder has spent a lifetime talking about and managing money, from childhood, through her financial management career, and by using the power of money and financial independence as the life raft that allowed her to leave an early adult marriage.

“Money has formed an important fabric in my life growing … it’s why I am the way I am today,” she told QSuper. “It’s very important to talk about money and socialise the concept of money.”

Talking about money shouldn’t be taboo or shameful, she said. Rather, opening up the conversation about money, socially or at work, was a way to help take on the structural disempowerment of women in the financial stakes.

“I learnt that because my mum and my aunties had a money club where my aunty would come over with a briefcase and they’d cook and put money out and they were all pooling their savings together.

“It was fabulous because all of us kids would get together and we would run around the table and we would eat all the food everyone brought over. But subconsciously we were being exposed to a really powerful message, and that is that it is OK for women to get together and talk about money.”

Ms Gopal said seeing her aunt as treasurer of the money club normalised the image of women as managers of money.

And when she started earning herself, taking home $5 for working in her parents’ restaurant, she naturally followed in the footstep of her mother and aunts.

“I did what was normal for me. I joined the money club and I saved with the rest of the ladies,” she said.

As founder and chief executive of The Remarkable Woman, a mentoring community that coaches women to achieve professional, personal and financial goals, Ms Gopal now works to close the gender pay gap and empower women financially.

“If you talk about money more … you get more comfortable with it and more confident with it and talk about the things you could do with your money that you didn’t realise you could,” Ms Gopal said.

How to talk about money

“Not many people may be as forthright about money as I have been socialised to be,” Ms Gopal admitted.

But talking more openly about money may have significant and positive impacts personally and professionally, she said.

Steps to talking about money:

1. Choose your audience – talk money with people you know and trust.
2. Choose the right environment – talk money where it is comfortable for everyone in the conversation to hear and be heard
3. Choose a broad question and let that question lead the other person to what they feel comfortable talking about. An example may be asking a friend about their relationship with money. “It’s like asking a girlfriend about their love life, but instead you’re asking about their money life. If you probe along the way, you will find you are talking about money in a way you didn’t think was possible.”

Learning about salary negotiation

At The Remarkable Woman, Ms Gopal said mentors helped coach women to discuss their salary.

“One of the formulas we apply is teaching women how to value themselves,” she said.

“That is not something that we as a culture are socialised with. From an emotional perspective, it’s really hard to put a value on ourselves, especially when as girls and then as women we are told to play nice.

“We are told it is the nice girls that are valued, as opposed to being our fully-expressed, fully-embodied selves. While we are nice, we are also determined and we are ambitious and we are smart. And those things also need to be valued.”

How you can contribute to closing the gender pay gap

Everyone had a responsibility to address the gender pay gap, Ms Gopal said.

“We are all subject to bias and that is how the pay gap comes about,” she said.

“There is still the thinking that men are smarter, they have natural leadership skills, they need to provide for their family, they are highly competitive and we need to pay them more. Subconsciously we don’t think that about women. These things are incredibly powerful and it requires conscious unpacking to get away from that bias.

“I think until people get really honest about this kind of stuff, the gender pay gap will always be here.”

Ms Gopal said taking action to address the gender pay gap could be personally rewarding, but also create a ripple effect.

“When one woman starts fighting for herself, there’s a process that happens and she is actually fighting for others. People take off the blinders and see what is happening and that it is not normal to pay people less for the same work. And that’s how you create change,” she said.

How talking money can help your super

Women currently retire without around half the superannuation of men.¹

Steps women could take to support their super and financial future:

• Think about your superannuation early
• Consider salary sacrificing
• Talk to friends about money
• Talk to experts for advice on money
• Talk to your employer about your super.

“What I would love to see happen is women take the reins of their super as early as they can in their careers,” Ms Gopal said. “Know that retirement is coming and that it will happen for you. Planning your money today is the smart thing to do.”

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Personal view disclaimer
The opinions expressed and those providing comments are theirs alone, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the QSuper Board. No responsibility is taken for the accuracy of any of the information supplied and you should seek advice for your circumstances.

1. Women in Super, The facts about Women and Super, accessed 20 February 2020 at www.womeninsuper.com.au